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Surviving the Cold in Southshore

A completely serious emergency guide for when it drops below “comfortable hoodie weather.”

Southshore residents woke up this morning to a terrifying realization: it was cold. Not “I need a jacket” cold. Not “maybe long sleeves” cold. We’re talking text-your-family-and-ask-if-they’re-safe cold.

With temperatures flirting dangerously close to the low 40s (possibly even the 30s if you live near water and fear), here’s how to survive this brutal cold front without panic, frostbite, or accidentally turning your thermostat to “heat.”

The first rule of staying warm is layering, which sounds reasonable until you remember you live in Florida and your “winter wardrobe” consists of cotton t-shirts and a hoodie from a 5K you never ran. Put all of it on. Then add the decorative throw from the couch. If you can still bend your elbows, you’re underdressed. You’re aiming for a shape best described as “escaped comforter.”

Next, secure the house. Windows are no longer windows, they’re frozen portals to misery. Stuff towels under doors. Use spare blankets. If the cold persists, stare directly at the draft with anger and distrust. Fear is a natural insulator. Close blinds, curtains, and any cabinet that looks suspiciously chilly. If light can get in, neither can cold.

At some point, you’ll approach the thermostat. Do not rush this moment. This requires a household vote, a dramatic sigh, and someone saying, “Let’s just see how it feels in an hour.” When you finally turn on the heat, raise it exactly one degree and immediately start complaining about the electric bill like it already arrived and personally insulted you. Side note: ignore the smell. Nothing important is burning, it’s just been a decade since you’ve used the thing.

Blankets should now become a lifestyle. One blanket is casual. Two is commitment. Three means you’ve accepted that you live here now. Pets should be pulled into the blanket pile regardless of their consent. If the cat looks annoyed, congratulations, warmth has been achieved.

Hot beverages must be consumed constantly, even if you don’t want them. Coffee, tea, soup, something boiling for no clear reason. You must hold the mug with both hands and exhale loudly after every sip while saying, “That’s the stuff.” Cold drinks are suspended until further notice by the Florida Department of Overreacting.

Foot protection is critical. Bare feet on tile floors is how people disappear. Wear socks. Then, thicker socks. Then consider doubling up. Slides are canceled. Crocs are on probation unless they’re the furry insulated kind. If your feet feel like they’re wrapped in a sleeping bag, you’re finally safe.

Movement is allowed but only in the form of pacing, shuffling, and dramatic shivering. Actual exercise is unnecessary and frankly reckless. Instead, walk from room to room, hugging yourself and announcing how cold it is, so everyone knows you’re enduring something historic.

Most importantly, you must repeatedly remind everyone that this is not normal. Say it to your family. Say it to coworkers. Say it to strangers at the store wearing shorts like they’re unbothered by anything. “Florida isn’t built for this” should be spoken at least three times before noon.

And just as suddenly as it arrived, this cold will vanish. In a week, it’ll be 78 degrees, the sun will be aggressive again, and you’ll complain about the heat while shoving all your winter gear back into the closet until the next time Florida decides to remind us who’s really in charge.

Stay warm, Southshore. We’ll rebuild. ❄️

Things to do

What’s Washing Up on The Shore This Week

Not So Much in Southshore Anymore

What a cold snap means in a Southshore with fewer fields and more fences

There used to be a time when freeze warnings were of the utmost importance around here. Not so much anymore. A lot of our tomato, strawberry, and insert-other-produce fields have been converted into neighborhoods, storage units, car washes, and yes, Walmarts.

Back when Southshore had more fields than fast food, a cold snap meant farmers were scrambling overnight to protect crops and save an entire season. A freeze wasn’t an inconvenience, it was a real threat.

These days, there just aren’t that many fields left to freeze.

That doesn’t mean the cold doesn’t matter. It just means the concern has shifted closer to home. Instead of acres of crops, it’s backyard citrus trees, potted plants, and that one tomato plant you’re determined to keep alive. Farmers across the Bay Area are still on alert, but out here, freeze warnings hit differently.

If you’ve been here long enough, you know this kind of cold is rare, which is why it catches everyone off guard. Suddenly, we’re all checking weather apps, debating frost cloths, and pretending we know what we’re doing.

So blanket your plants. Bring the potted ones inside. Cover the citrus. That palm may look tough, but even Florida palms have limits.

Freeze warnings may not shut down Southshore like they used to, but they still matter. Fewer tractors, more backyard blankets. Same cold, different Southshore.

Southshore Spotlight

Seed of Opportunity & Success

Seed of Opportunity & Success is a Wimauma-based nonprofit focused on strengthening families through health education, economic development, and community support. Launched during the pandemic, the organization works to address issues like childhood obesity, diabetes prevention, and financial stability by bringing local partners and residents together to create long-term opportunity.

Nominate your local hero by emailing us at [email protected]

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Southshore Services

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Until next time,

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